harry pothead and the magical lung
by sucidalscarecrow
Summary: harry and bong go ona an adventure with herbplatnt herbp and find a lung which has dire concequences for the stoners
1. stoned again

_harry pothead and the magical lung_

_"so harru whats happnin"_

_"fuck all bong. u?"_

_"yea man i wish i had a bong" said bong_

_"man u must be stoned out u forgot ur name i aint got no bong"_

_"ahhh shit man said bong"_

_they were sittin in theyre rooms in griffindor tower tokin up skins littered the floor and there was a big chunck of magical dope that never ran out_

_" man i think that was desil dope my eyes r fucked nd it tastes rank"_

_"yea man same here" said bong_

_"lets go get more dope"_

_"ok man stall two seconds till i roll some spliffs for the dander"_

_so they rooled spliffs then smoked a few and before they new it theyhad passed out..._

_soon after they woke up and started treckin sparkin up a spliff and wandering through the griffindor common room they trooped thyre eyes were slits and everyone just stared at them but they didnt care cause they were stoned outafter what seemed like hours they bamped into someone _

_"hey man" said harry without even looking to see who it was "you any smoke"_

_"what dou think ur doin harry,whats wrong with your eyes," it was proffesor cold turkey who never toked_

_"awww shit man see u lateer" said harry_

_they dreged on for ages after a while bong spke up_

_"here harry"_

_aww ahit thought harry hes gonna melt my brain again_

_"what" he said through gritted teeth_

_"i was just thinkin that..." and he was gone bong still taljked on but harry wasnt listening he was too piedafter a while bong stopped talking_

_"harry u listnin" harry had to change modes fasthe resorted to auto voice "yea" "sweet", "yea" overe and over _

_"heres harry theres herb-plant" _

"sweet" said harry

"here herb-plant u any smoke"

yea dood" said herb-p

lets go

they trooped about for ages and until bong stopped and said "here iveseen thattree before"

"shit said herb"

they danders a bit more and then they found herb-p s satsh

_sweet man gt out the skins bong _

_here saif herb-p ive a lung_

_sweet_

_"its magicl"_

_"wgats it do"_

_gts u stoned _

_"aww shit ive never seen magic before" said bong_

_"are u a magicain do u wantto be at my birthday"_

_"bong shut the fuck up"_

_then they filled lungs haryy toke the first one and was toned then bong and herb tok bongs and lungs they were really stoned they couldnt move then thy heard footsteps coming to wrds them it was the evil dealer draco _

* * *

waw at a cliff hanger lol im stoned off my head 


	2. waw the hole

"waw wts happenin lads" said the evil draco

"numuchmunurself" is all haryy could say

"aye smoke"

"nuhmun" said harry

sweet"

so dreaco sat and rooled some spliffd s and said im really stoned out and shit

* * *

blah blah blah yea im stoned nd ill just skip forwardinthestoryabit

* * *

boom there was a big explosion in the sky above them 

"wts that" said bong

its the spies of pie" said herb-p

"fuck up" said harry

"can i have some pie imon a munch" said bong

yea ok" said harry

stall lads need a piss" said harry

so tghey all stopped while harry went to steal a try and make a mud pie

"here u go longu heres ur shit" said harry

"cheres man "

so theydandered nd muched and shit thgen they cam to a big hole

"wt we gonna doman" said bong

"someone jump in"

"nah man said bong"

"herp-p votes bong"

"waw" he fell down the hole

u ok"

yea"

two seconds later bongs intestines caome up outa the hole

"shit man whos next"

* * *

waw wts down the hole that ate bong find out after i do a spliff 


	3. bob the monkey

_chapter 3_

_"waw man " said herb-p "wonder what happened to him"_

_"awk well" said harry "fuck it come on"_

_so they left bvong to his fate and sontered on_

_"wonder where were going "said herb-p but all she gt was some incomperhensible answer_

_"harry"_

_"harry"_

_harry"_

_"omg dood shut the fuck up ur pickiling my brain"_

_soon they cam to another big hole herb-p ws still meltin harrys head_

_swoosh herb-p whent down the hole_

_"opps man"said harry sarcastically_

_"man theres nothing down here"said herb-p_

_"hmmmmm so fuck later"_

_haryy was on such a munch now having disposed of his friends he went off to find food_

_later on that day he was back to strolin about he was completley fucked his head was on fire and he couldnt stop stumbling_

_"harry, harry"_

_aww shit whos this he thought_

_"hoped u were dead "_

_"hmmm right "said bong without hearing that_

_"any fegs"_

_"what for "said harry his stomach doin a turn at the thought of a joint_

_"spliff"_

_swet" said harry _

_so they gt more pied nd shit _

* * *

_ill do the rest when im nt pied_


	4. pills

pills

"here harry wanna go to port rush to see fat boy slim"said that dood in the story

"aye sweet"SAiasd harry

so the next day they were ment to meet up

"fuck me wherre is everyone "harry thought to himself the next mornin"theres freaky pete"

"nah man nones comin down "said pete

"wt a wab "harry thought

so he sat in the train station cuse he was bored

pete soon gt lobbed off the train

"shockin "said harry nd walked off

harry foned a few cunts nd discovered that pete was jus being a wanker as usuall

so he went nd bought a caerryout nd gt the next bus down

"thats 9 quid "said the bus dood

"fuck me" thought harry "but im only 15"

"aye bollox"said the bus dood "u look about 18"

"scundered" thought harry

so harry sat on thye bus nd drank his swall with all theses smicks who were also going

when he gt there he sontered abount and promtly found the rest of his crew

"come on dood" said dom

so they went to the beach but the smoke was scarce "thank fuck ive a bit o smoke to do buckits with"said harry

so harry did seawater buckets on the beach he hoffed upsome water by accident it was rank

saw paddy nd talked to him then ppl started tlkin bout pills ndharry went" y nt"

so he bought pills called trippel x's banged them in nd sat on the beach at about 5 oclock harry could feel a tinglein in his chest so he gt up to scratch his chest nd instsntly he felt light as fuck

"dom y do i feel light as fuck"said harry

"the pills man "is all he could say

so we went on a big troop to try nd gt in fr free

when we gt to the beach we could see the concert but by this time we were well pilled out so we went on a big dander up the beach with a goal to reach this point but it never gt any closer we dandered fr about 30 mins lthen built a sandcastel

harry woke up the next mornin in a golf course wonderin where he was nd wt time it was but somehow his fone was brooke nd he couldnt really move his jaw that much so he stood in the same spot fr about an hour workin out where he was then he dandered relally slowly

"musta been raining last night im drenched " harry said to none in paticular

fuck me 2 hours later he had progresed halfway across gthe golf course his speed was about 1meter every 2 mins then he saw a big house nd started to head for that cause it was raining really heavy now

when he reached the house there was another perwon there

normally harry wouldnt have aproached him but it was god knows wt time in the mournin so he trecked over

the dood looked up as i gt over

"here man have u ne fegs" said harry

"if uve a lighter" said the dood

"yea"

"thank fuck said the dood"

the dood had a load of fegs a chunck of smoke and weed but no lighter

so sat nd did spliffs with him

wenthome at like 7 in the mournin stoned out

"pills next week " said dood

"yea said harry definatly


End file.
